Sunday, February 20, 2011

Let's Spend the Afternoon Together

Before you read this post, please play this song in the background:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEtx2YTcD94


As the blog "Newmark's Door," said, "There are markets for everything."

Evidently so, and everybody looking for some afternoon loving let out a sigh of relief. Yes, you have no need to worry if that seedy motel you picked out will displease your post-lunch fling. Le Parker Meridien, a glitzy New York hotel, now offers rooms from 11AM to 3PM for $150, and according to the New York Post, "For $250 you can upgrade and get 'champagne, strawberries with whipped cream and an on-demand adult film of your choice.'"

It seems we here in America are behind the curve, as a Google search will reveal. There is a English company called Elite Affairs that according to articlesnatch.com, "Every day people all over the UK are meeting for stimulating, steamy quickies in hotels, both luxurious and sleazy, that would never have been possible without Elite Affair!"

Before you turn your nose up at these sorts of rendez-vous, think of the alternatives. When two consenting adults get together to make sweet, sweet love, it's not only legal, but actually quite a positive influence on both their psyches. I'm no doctor, but the health benefits of sex are well documented. So, there's one positive aspect to this business. Assuming these people do not have an immediate sexual alternative, this is actually a healthier choice than, say, drinking at a bar.

Let's consider the most similar business to the one being discussed: prostitution. Obviously, one of these endeavors is legal and the other isn't. No argument there. Financially speaking, let's do some math:

Cost of prostitute: $250
Cost of hotel: $150
Now, we'll add an error term, u, that will represent some unspecified, positive cost that comes with the risk of being arrested, getting an STD, or any other negative side-effect that comes hand in hand with hiring prostitutes.

For Elite Affairs:

Cost of hotel: $150
Now we add another error term, e, that represents the positive cost of the person you meet online being an ax-murderer, or something heinous like that.

Our two equations:

250+150+u=400+u

150+e

Let's compare. Clearly, 400 is greater than 150. As for the error terms, firstly the probability of e being high (as in something awful happens on your discreet affair) is most likely lower than the probability of u being high. Also, remember the probably true fact that every negative outcome contained in e is also contained in u. Therefore, I say with a fair amount of confidence:

400+u>150+e


So, are you free around, say, 11AM?

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